IF...your electricity bill is higher than your rent.
IF...your oven hibernates during the summer months.
IF...your first order of business after arriving home is to strip down to skivvies.
IF...your rubber-soled shoes melt to the sidewalk.
IF...Aloe Vera has replaced your favorite lotion.
IF...you consider aluminum foil an appropriate window covering.
IF...you've ever suffered third degree burns handling your car's steering wheel.
IF...you get a sunburn due to a trip to the mailbox.
IF...you have a ceiling fan in every room, kitchen included, then you MIGHT live in Southeast Texas